Where does courage really begin?
What does it really take for a woman to pursue an unconventional dream?
Is it talent? Opportunity? Courage? Or does it begin much earlier—with someone who says, "Go ahead," instead of, "Be careful?"
These were some of the questions that lingered long after the Venture Center Library Book Club gathered to discuss Who Said She Can't? by Rashmi Bansal. Facilitated by Dr. Yogesh Shelke—physician, business strategist and venture creation expert—the session evolved into something far richer than a conversation about a book. It became a room where stories were exchanged, assumptions were questioned and lived experiences shaped the discussion just as much as the pages themselves.
The book chronicles the journeys of thirty women who graduated from IIT Bombay before 1999—a time when women occupied only a handful of seats in engineering classrooms. Through deeply personal conversations, Rashmi Bansal explores not only their achievements but also the uncertainty, career pivots, difficult choices and quiet perseverance that defined their paths. These are not stories of flawless success. They are stories of resilience, reinvention and refusing to let circumstance dictate ambition.
Confidence is built, not inherited
As participants reflected on the book, one idea surfaced repeatedly: confidence is rarely a starting point. More often, it is something that is built over time—through encouragement, repeated effort and the willingness to take the next step before feeling entirely ready.
Several participants shared what it felt like to study or work in spaces where women were few in number. Being the only woman—or one of very few—in a room can quietly shape how freely one speaks, questions ideas or imagines future possibilities. Yet many also reflected on how those very experiences eventually strengthened their resolve, teaching them to trust themselves rather than wait for validation.
The discussion also explored a form of privilege that often goes unnoticed. While financial resources certainly create opportunities, participants spoke about the equally powerful role of family conditioning. A home that encourages curiosity, welcomes unconventional choices and treats ambition as something worth nurturing can fundamentally shape a woman's confidence. Sometimes, the greatest privilege is not wealth, but having people who never ask you to shrink your dreams.
Another thread that emerged during the discussion was the reality of non-linear career journeys. While Who Said She Can't? demonstrates that success rarely follows a single, predictable path, participants expanded the conversation by reflecting on the many factors that shape women's careers. Maternity, caregiving responsibilities and balancing family with professional aspirations were recognised as realities that often influence career decisions and trajectories. Rather than viewing these experiences as setbacks, the discussion acknowledged them as part of a larger journey that calls for resilience, adaptability and the courage to redefine success on one's own terms.
The barriers we inherit—and the ones we outgrow
The conversation naturally turned towards entrepreneurship, where women continue to remain significantly underrepresented. Participants reflected on how barriers are not always visible. They often appear as hesitation, inherited expectations, fear of judgement or the habit of seeking permission before taking risks.
The discussion emphasised that growth begins with recognising these invisible inhibitions and consciously choosing to move beyond them. Courage, after all, is rarely the absence of fear. More often, it is the decision that fear will not make the final choice.
One striking anecdote from the book illustrated how dramatically the landscape has changed. During the 1960s, 70s and 80s, IIT Bombay's boys' hostels accommodated nearly 500 students, while the combined women's hostels across the campus had only about twenty rooms. It was a simple statistic, yet one that vividly illustrated how few women occupied technical spaces just a few decades ago.
The story of Sudha Murty further reinforced this spirit of quiet determination. Her decision to challenge a Tata recruitment advertisement that explicitly excluded women eventually led to her becoming the company's first woman engineer. Her story reminded participants that meaningful change often begins not with grand movements, but with one person refusing to accept an unfair norm.
More than a discussion, a room full of voices
What made the afternoon particularly memorable was that it never felt like a lecture. Every participant became a contributor.
Women in the room shared their own versions of breaking barriers—stories of navigating expectations, changing careers, finding their voice or simply choosing not to settle for what others believed was possible. Their reflections transformed the discussion from a conversation about thirty women in a book into a dialogue about countless women whose journeys continue to unfold every day.
Equally heartening were the perspectives shared by the men in attendance. Rather than observing the conversation from the sidelines, they spoke about the responsibility of creating workplaces, families and communities where women can thrive without having to constantly prove they belong. It was a reminder that equality is not a conversation for women alone. It is a shared commitment.
The discussion gradually shifted from asking how women can break barriers to a more fundamental question: How do we build a world with fewer barriers to begin with?
That naturally led to one of the session's most meaningful themes—sisterhood. One participant spoke about her own experience of finding strength in the women around her, reflecting on how encouragement and solidarity had shaped her journey. Her perspective resonated deeply with the room and echoed the stories in the book, where women often found strength in one another rather than viewing each other as competitors. The discussion became a reminder that meaningful workplaces are built when women become each other's champions—sharing opportunities, celebrating achievements and creating space for one another to grow.
The Room Had the Last Word
One of the most thought-provoking moments of the discussion came when participants reflected on how learning is not confined to age or experience. While the women featured in Who Said She Can't? offer valuable lessons in resilience and determination, the conversation also acknowledged that younger generations have much to teach. Their willingness to question convention, pursue unconventional careers, embrace empathy and care less about societal perceptions was seen as a refreshing perspective—one that challenges long-held notions of success and ambition.
As the session drew to a close, participants were invited to capture their reflections on sticky notes. Soon, the board was filled with words such as resilience, courage, empathy, confidence and possibility. Each note represented an individual takeaway, yet together they painted a picture of what the afternoon had become—a space where experiences were shared openly, perspectives were welcomed and every voice added something meaningful to the conversation.
Perhaps that is the enduring strength of Who Said She Can't? It does more than celebrate the achievements of remarkable women. It encourages conversations that invite us to reflect on our own journeys, question long-held assumptions and recognise the people and environments that shape our aspirations.
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